Original submission by Quezpxp
Description / notes
Stone Bridge vs Riverside (two of the best teams in VA going head-to-head for the Boys Lax State Championship
Dan's feedback
Feedback pending
Dan Miller will review this submission soon
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Original submission by Giovanni Moceri
Description / notes
Hi Dan! My name is Giovanni Moceri. I'm 23 years old and recently graduated from Oakland University. My submission is my play-by-play from a recent game on our student radio station, 88.3 WXOU. It's Oakland men's basketball hosting Green Bay in the first round of the conference tournament. This clip is from tipoff to the first media timeout, straight through.
Some questions I have are:
- How often should I be saying which team has the ball, instead of just using the players' names? (ex: "Oakland with the ball", or "Green Bay with it")
- Did I make it clear enough which team has the ball?
- There are times when I pause to let the audience hear the PA announcer. Is that appropriate? Does the PA come through our mics enough?
- Am I locating the ball on the court enough?
- Is the action easy to follow?
Thank you for taking the time to review my work!
Some questions I have are:
- How often should I be saying which team has the ball, instead of just using the players' names? (ex: "Oakland with the ball", or "Green Bay with it")
- Did I make it clear enough which team has the ball?
- There are times when I pause to let the audience hear the PA announcer. Is that appropriate? Does the PA come through our mics enough?
- Am I locating the ball on the court enough?
- Is the action easy to follow?
Thank you for taking the time to review my work!
Dan's feedback
Giovanni,
Some thoughts before I answer your questions. Some really good work here. I think you and your analyst really flowed well. Your pick-ups after he finished were strong. You jumped right back into the action and didn't miss a beat.
Don't feel like you have to speed up and stay exactly even with the play. Felt like you did at times and that was when you got a little tongue tied. There will be time to catch up. Finish your thought and then rejoin the action. You have the benefit of radio. If you miss a pass, so be it. You'll find the rhythm again.
An example of that was the Mukeba block leading to the Christie 3. Good call on the block but I didn't know who had the ball and then the shot is going through. Give me who has the ball off the block and follow the play. There will be time for further description of what Mukeba did after the shot falls.
"Mukeba the big block, leads to the breakout for Oakland. Christie lines up a three and nails it. Wow Mukeba the terrific defensive play that started that sequence that led to 3 for the Grizz. Back comes Green Bay..."
1) You did a nice job of saying who had it. Loved it at the beginning where you said "Green Bay trying to go inside...." Incorporate it into your call or the score and it flows but really you need to do it a lot on radio.
2) Kind of the same answer. Work it in through the action. "Oakland down one and with it..."
3) The PA shouldn't factor into your call. Fans want to hear you, not the PA. The crowd rising will provide plenty of background noise.
4) I think you could do more. Reps help. Listen to your own call. Can you follow the ball? Be your own best and worst critic. Close your eyes and listen. Forget it's you. Can you follow the ball?
5) I'd say that for the majority of the time, I could follow it. Just a little more description and a little more incorporating the team with it and you're going to be rolling.
There's a lot to feel good about here. You sound like you know exactly what you need to work on because you are asking the right questions. Keep grinding and really listen to what you're doing.
Some thoughts before I answer your questions. Some really good work here. I think you and your analyst really flowed well. Your pick-ups after he finished were strong. You jumped right back into the action and didn't miss a beat.
Don't feel like you have to speed up and stay exactly even with the play. Felt like you did at times and that was when you got a little tongue tied. There will be time to catch up. Finish your thought and then rejoin the action. You have the benefit of radio. If you miss a pass, so be it. You'll find the rhythm again.
An example of that was the Mukeba block leading to the Christie 3. Good call on the block but I didn't know who had the ball and then the shot is going through. Give me who has the ball off the block and follow the play. There will be time for further description of what Mukeba did after the shot falls.
"Mukeba the big block, leads to the breakout for Oakland. Christie lines up a three and nails it. Wow Mukeba the terrific defensive play that started that sequence that led to 3 for the Grizz. Back comes Green Bay..."
1) You did a nice job of saying who had it. Loved it at the beginning where you said "Green Bay trying to go inside...." Incorporate it into your call or the score and it flows but really you need to do it a lot on radio.
2) Kind of the same answer. Work it in through the action. "Oakland down one and with it..."
3) The PA shouldn't factor into your call. Fans want to hear you, not the PA. The crowd rising will provide plenty of background noise.
4) I think you could do more. Reps help. Listen to your own call. Can you follow the ball? Be your own best and worst critic. Close your eyes and listen. Forget it's you. Can you follow the ball?
5) I'd say that for the majority of the time, I could follow it. Just a little more description and a little more incorporating the team with it and you're going to be rolling.
There's a lot to feel good about here. You sound like you know exactly what you need to work on because you are asking the right questions. Keep grinding and really listen to what you're doing.
Dan Miller
Original submission by Brendan M
Description / notes
Hey Mr. Miller! My name is Brendan Mato, I am a senior at Detroit Catholic Central High School, and I am the Lead Student Broadcaster, doing Play-by-Play Announcing, for all of my high school's athletics. Here are some of my favorite moments from the past few months, mostly from football season, with a few miscellaneous basketball and wrestling clips mixed in. I don't have any specific areas I would like critiqued, so I'm open to any and all feedback you may have. Thanks!
Dan's feedback
Brendan, lets start here. You have skills. Some really good stuff on this reel. What jumps out at me right away is that you are right on top of the action. You aren't trying to catch up or figure it out. Love your vision and your pacing.
The Flea Flicker is done really well and those can sometimes be tough to stay with.
You nailed the basketball call. Like your others, the enthusiasm is there and it matches the action.
Couple things I'd look at. I'm not huge on slang terms like "paydirt". Some people are and I've probably used it and then gotten angry at myself. It just sounds a little too old school for me.
- "Just outside the Red Zone" I prefer a yard line and that's a locator you can use as a second reference.
- If it's an interception, tell me that. "Well into the hands of Jayden Pydyn" might not land with everybody. But if you say "up for grabs and intercepted by Jayden Pydyn" everybody knows exactly what happened.
Really though, these are outstanding reps. You're really advanced for your age. Keep with it. Everything you are doing now is prepping you for where you want to go and you are well on your way.
Dan Miller